What's the True Calling

Nervous Conditions was a brilliant novel by Darembenga.  Nervous Conditions is a term coined by Franz Fanon relating to the state of Africans in a colonial system.  These Africans aren't sure anymore who they are or who they are supposed to become.  They often end up having to adopt different names, roles, and personalities for different people they come in contact with and different situations they are in.  This creates the nervous condition in Africans who have to adopt all these different roles; they end up not being sure who they really are or who they are supposed to be in different situations.  This was exemplified perfectly in Nervous Condtitons.  Tambu is raised on the homestead in a village, so she is in tune with her African being and place.  Although she in born into this, she is greatly exposed to the colonial life throughout the years.  At first it was just seeing Babamukuru drive up in his big car but as she got older she couldn't help but be sucked in.  As history shows happens to many other for good and bad, Tambu ended up going to Christian western schools.  With the Europeans gaining access to these young, mailable, African minds they are able to shape and mold them to meet their own needs.  It is this system that creates and continues the nervous condition.  The result of this is that Africans end up not being able to fully identify with any group other than fellow colonized African minds. 
I can relate to this condition, in being bi-racial I find myself putting on different masks in different situations.  I don't consciously do it, it just happens automatically.  Just as we don't think to breathe or beat our heart, I don't think to act one way around this group of people or that way around that group of people.  Its just the way I've been mentally colonized even here in the U.S. Also throughout my life I've learned that certain people are more receptive to a certain language and actions while others expect and postivily respond to different actions and communication.